I just had a dream. And like most of my dreams the details are
quickly fleeing from my mind as I wake up enough to function. I’ll try to put the details back together as
I write.
I was at the
dentist office having some dental work done.
For some reason my face was swelling because of the procedures that had
been performed. I can’t recall what the
problem was but it was the typical result for having the problem repaired.
Man, this is
frustrating because I’m not being able to recall the dream much at all now –
but I do recall as I was entering the tinkerbell stage (half awake, half asleep)
that I was curious what could be the purpose for having such a dream. The thought came to me that it is comparable
to the journey that I’ve been taking lately.
An internal journey of discovery.
Most of my life, I
have been a good girl. Making correct
choices without really struggling much with temptation. Staying true to the faith and having a
natural inclination to be obedient to correct principles. A duty-bound girl, by choice. I am grateful for these tendencies because it
has prevented a great deal of heartache and trouble.
But lately, I have
been exploring deeper beyond the outward motions and decisions. Such things as my beliefs, my intents, my
emotions, my thoughts, my triggers, my true self, etc. It has been an eye-opening journey to say the
least. I’m finding a great deal of
inconsistency – alright I’ll say it– hypocrisy.
I’ve been surprised by the things I’ve been learning about myself. As well as amazed by the power these internal
elements have been having on my life.
It’s kinda like my
teeth in the dream. They perform their
function of chewing and speech. Even get
some daily care and cleaning without giving it much thought as to what might be
going on beneath the hard enamel surface.
Some stuck food (stuffed emotions) or internal weakness (false limiting
beliefs) or bad habit of dental care (poor self-talk) or poor nutrition choices
(listening to or believing shame messages) etc, has slowly been eating away and
decaying the inside of my teeth. On the
outside surface, my teeth are still functioning to normal capacity, but inside
these little things are going to affect not only my teeth, but my smile, my
diet, my finances, even my relationships in a big way.
And now I’m
feeling the results of having the dental work being done – so to speak. As I identify my emotions and experience
them, really feel them rather than stuffing them (as if that’s really an option),
I’m s.l.o.w.l.y. learning how to identify the message or purpose for those
emotions in a healthy manner. Process
them then let them go. [The drill work
has begun] As I recognize a belief that
was made as a young child (and not based on any type of truth, I might add) that
has been affecting me and limiting my capacity my entire life, and then stating
affirmations of the correct truth to reprogram that belief. [scraping out the
decay] As I recognize my speech is
limiting in in nature and how my verbage is creating that manifestation in my
life – like saying “I can’t” is a prayer that is quickly and consistently answered,
and choose instead to use gentler terms. [Packing the tooth with filler] As I look in the mirror into my eyes and
search for who I am apart from what I look like or what experiences have
defined me. [putting the sealant
on] As I do these internal repairs, yes,
my jaw is swelling from the manipulation, but I can feel healing taking
place. I can feel increased
functionality. I can feel greater
results are going to happen. I can feel
one-in-purpose or not hypocritical to myself.
Okay, that’s
probably enough with the tooth analogy.
I’m not really that big into dental care and so I find it interesting that
this particular dream was the symbol that I’m using for this internal
journey.
But it’s one more
step in the quest to BECOME. Not simply
gaining an education and making good choices.
Not simply engaging in the best philosophy behind the type of education
to receive. Not simply planting a good
seed to yield a good harvest. But to clean
out the heart and the mind from past refuse or abuse and start again fresh with
a good consistent first foundation.
