Are Children Inherently Malicious?

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Through some unforeseen chain of events, my children are attending a public school and I am working outside the home.  And like most things, I’m sure the Lord is teaching me lessons I wasn’t aware (or desiring) that I needed to learn.   Fortunately, I have been able to be employed as a TA (Teacher’s Aid) at the very school my youngest children are attending.  I get to be involved in what my children are experiencing as well as make money on the side.  Win-Win, right?

And while this may only be a temporary interim employment, it’s all coming back to me why I didn’t feel the desire to continue pursuing my elementary education major.   I recall it had something to do with the amount of politics that were involved in education – and very little to do with teaching children.  Now that I’m in the thick of it, I’m seeing a good deal of the teacher’s role… is classroom management – with very little to do with igniting a fire in the heart of the child to love learning. 

I get that a room of 20 plus children is similar to herding cats and it would be impossible to instruct them unless there is some semblance of order.   I get that children are young and inexperienced and need to be guided in how to behave appropriately.  And I also get how I am working with elementary aged children and the lessons they are learning now will set the stage for the rest of their schooling experience and so the lessons are more about self-control and less about academic content.

But what I don’t quite understand is why addressing inappropriate behavior makes me feel like loving kindness, long suffering, and patience ought to be replaced with the stern “LOOK”, zero tolerance, and no opportunity to connect with the child’s heart. 

I’ve seen, first hand, why teachers might lose their love of teaching because of the difficulty in managing a classroom.  Let’s face it, sometimes kids are tyrants.  The teachers develop the furrowed brow, the low tolerance for disorder, the no allowance for individual expression because it downward spirals into community chaos.  (The same thing might apply to parents.)

So I’m curious…Are children inherently malicious?

I’ve known some people who view them this way.  Give them and inch and they’ll take a mile. 

A milder, yet similar assumption might be that children are innately immature.  You know, the whole Id, Ego, and Superego assumption.  

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They are ego-centric and incapable of monitoring themselves without staged “lessons” to direct them into appropriate behavior – commonly called discipline.  With that premise, it is the teacher’s (or parent’s) responsibility to cause them to behave contrary to their juvenile nature in order to grow – correct? 

I wonder if that popularly adopted theory doesn’t take into account the dual nature of the being – spiritual… as well as physical.  Our spirits are quite mature and developed – they’ve passed the first estate and have learned all they could learn in Father’s presence.  Now we are experiencing a veiled spiritual memory and awareness while simultaneously working with the undeveloped natural body.  It’s quite the juggling act when you think about it. 

When children misbehave, it isn’t necessarily a result of them solely being selfish and inexperienced, but a navigating of how to work this undisciplined portion of their physical nature while not wholly remembering their disciplined and mature spiritual self. 

I get that it is difficult to see the greatness of a person who is defiant and unwilling to cooperate with what we view as a more noble objective.  (That probably needs to be put into different perspective as well.)  Requiring everyone be quiet so they can hear what I have to say is helpful, but helping the child connect with their mature self and desire to want to be respectful is a much more powerful, useful, and life-changing lesson.

 

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Those two hidden assumptions about children,

1)      A physical being going through a development from instinctual response to moral based decisions

and

2)      A combination of both a mature spiritual and immature physical being going through a process of becoming unified – to remember the one and develop the other.

may sound very similar, I know, but understanding the underlying assumption for a behavior is huge in determining the appropriate response to that behavior. 

You have to admit that we respond differently when we believe something was done with intent rather than it being done innocently or accidently.  Of course, both theories take into account that the behavior is done innocently and in need of improvement.  However, the latter is a much more complex process and so much more is going on than simply caveman to civilized behavior.

And if children are simply immature and need directed into appropriate behavior, then the teacher/parent takes on the role of controlling or manipulating the child in order to train them to behave in their best interest.  That sounds a lot like Satan’s approach.   But if children are already giants of character that are struggling to balance the outside forces that are placed upon them, then the teacher/parent takes the role of leading them to find their innate greatness.  Both approaches are done through discipline, but the premise and motive is completely different.  Control versus loving persuasion.

Discipline alone trains the body, however, runs the risk of offending the spirit.  Discipline with a heart connection, takes into account the dual nature of children while preserving one’s own desire to behave in a Christ-like manner. 

“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained... only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and

by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge...

Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the

Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of

love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem thee

to be his enemy...

                                                        (Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-43)